Diego Forlan: The tale of two men

For all of Campbell's criticism of society's impact on our own self image, sometimes it can be beneficial. Such a case can be found within the life of Atletico Madrid's Diego Forlan. As usual I will pick which haircut is victorious and the reasons as to why, but in all honesty it's pretty self-explanatory.

I know I typicality show the losing haircut first, but I just wanted to show that Forlan typically has some of the best flow in all of La Liga. As a native of Uruguay it can be assumed that his blonde locks are more surprising in his homeland than the hair experimenting ground that is professional soccer. Plus you know he has to be a cool guy with the classic contemplative pose.

It goes without saying that this is the more disappointing version of Forlan's hair. Typically you'd only see a soccer player rocking such long braids in a high school women's game. However, this is what Forlan brought to the table when he played for Manchester United. Seeing as he only sported this look for one game, it's safe to say that the heavy scrutiny of society was for his own good this time. Perhaps the braids were one of the reasons Man U was ok with the prospect of parting ways with one of their most promising youngsters at the time.

The best and worst of powerhouse ponytails: Ibrahimovic vs. Drogba

Following the theme of the last post, I will pick the best and worst of a certain hairstyle. The chosen hairstyle this time will be ponytails. While choosing the best ponytail is like choosing between drowning and burning, I'll do my best. However terrible the idea of a man having a ponytail is, there at least can be one good thing can be said. When analyzing from the campbell point-of-view, neither of the following players can be said to have been heavily influenced by society's standards.

First up is the loser of our showdown, Chelsea's Dider Drogba. While the functionality of his hair can not be argued, his headers are some of the most lethal in the English Premier League, the style is in obvious question. It's a bit of a halfhearted effort in terms of execution, when compare to our victor you can see where the Ivory Coast striker is lacking. One point, though, is that when you make the risky decision of rocking a ponytail you probably should take the receding hairline into account.

Above is the man who I have decided to be the lesser of two evils. That man is AC Milan's Swedish forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Ibras' ponytail is done a little more justice by the fact it isn't always utilized. When ponytail-less, Ibra has arguably some of the best flow in European soccer. While the length of his hair makes the ponytail a little more serviceable, he essentially won this matchup based on the fact I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The best and the worst of the balding legends: Rooney vs Iniesta

Not just in the world of soccer, but in the world as a whole, there is a bit of a ceiling on how good balding can look. With that being said, there is a significant difference between aging gracefully and gripping on to your days of youth until your knuckles turn white. Today we will discuss two soccer giants who have been dealing with one of nature's cruelest jokes, hair loss. One chose to go the honorable route by displaying his baldness, the other went as far as surgery to regain his hair.

Picture above we have one of the most recognizable names in professional soccer, Manchester United's Wayne Rooney. Rooney had supposedly successful hair transplant surgery when he was essentially completely bald at the ripe old age of 25. Rooney most certainly is a victim of the existence Campbell describes. With the increased interactions as a result of technology, people's opinions of themselves are developed from what the outside world tells them. As the star player of the most recognizable soccer team in Europe, Rooney undoubtedly heard the snickering of every common man on the continent. Certainly that can be the only explanation for such an insult to nature.

Here is a man that Rooney can look up to. Here, we have Barcelona's Andres Iniesta. Iniesta does what you have to do when facing a receding hairline as a youngster, keep the hair short and don't let the media make you do something rash. And certainly the receding hair line doesn't affect his play as he has been nominated for player of the year a couple of time.

For Josh: Valbuena and Kaka

To the left, on behalf of Joshua Trachtenberg, I present Valbuena. On the right, known as one of the world's best footballers, I present Kaka. According to Putnam, for a long time the media controlled the public sphere. For a large portion of the time that remains true in the world of sports. But until the advent of technology the amount of coverage the media could produce was limited. Now, when a player changes his hairstyle it is plastered over the internet, for better or worse. Thankfully for this week's contestants there is no need to worry for neither possesses a very conspicuous haircut.

While Valbuena's hair may seem rather ordinary, it may have been more appropriate for the late 1990's. The similarities between Valbuena's and Freddie Prinze Jr's hair from the 1999 classic She's All That. The coincidence is only furthered by the fact Freddie went on to be Fred in a Scooby Doo movie. How is that coincidental? because the colors of Valbuena's jersey matches the colors of Fred's singular outfit perfectly. Valbuena should value the impact the media has on his public image as much as Kaka does.

This post's winner is Kaka. He utilizes the high level of scrutiny from the media to his advantage. He sticks out, by not sticking out. You know the media agrees you have a sweet classic haircut when your ad depicts you as soccer's James Bond. By choosing a simple haircut compared to many of his counterparts, Kaka is seen as a good guy in the public image

Mario Balotelli and Gerard Pique

For this post we will be analyzing the haircuts of Manchester City forward Mario Balotelli and Barcelona defender Gerard Pique. Super Mario is the man above this writing with the blonde mohawk-type thing. Gerard Pique is the man below. While I don't think it's necessary to point out the obvious winner and loser in this matchup, that's what I am about to do.

First we will choose the obvious loser, that would be Mario Balotelli. I do not think that much more needs to be said other than the fact that Balotelli instantly shaved this mohawk instantly after losing in an embarrassing loss. He obviously saw it as embarrassing enough that he had to get rid of out of fear of being ridiculed.

Why is Shakira pictured above? I'll tell you why, it's because that's who our winner is dating. I personally don't think Shakira would be dating anyone who didn't have respectable hair. The fact he is dating probably one of the most attractive women music attests to the fact he's got a pretty sweet hair and beard combo going.