The best and worst of Lionel Messi

Some may have noticed someone conspicuously absent from my last post about the best players in the world. That person would be the recipient of my vote for best player in the world, Lionel Messi of Argentina who currently plays for one of the best teams in the world in FC Barcelona. He has been battling with Ronaldo for most goals in arguably the most difficult league.

To the left we have Messi during his long hair period. While I have often been a supporter of long hair on this blog, Messi is a perfect example of why it is not for everybody. For Messi he needed to realize that just because everyone else was doing it, didn't mean he had to too. He was an unfortunate product of his environment.

Below we have the much more clean cut Lionel Messi. After becoming one of the most popular players in all of sports its easy to understand why he wanted to give himself a much more marketable look. Hopefully Messi can be ok with the fact that he can't grow out some sweet flow and be content with looking like almost every other guy around.

Comparing some of the world's best: Neymar vs. Ronaldo

In this post I will be discussing two of the best players in the world today. Brazil's 20-year-old prodigy Neymar, and Portugal's tried and true goal producer Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo has long been considered one of the best players in the world, while Neymar has only burst onto the seen these last couple of years. One of Neymar's main advocates is a former player who is considered by many to be the best player ever, Pele.

Neymar is the player at the top of the page with the mohawk into those bizarre braid/ponytail things. While it's very common for young players to want to have something to separate them from the rest of the players, Neymar would've been better off just letting his play do all of it. Someone who Pele described as the best soccer player on the planet doesn't need to rely on ridiculous hair to capture the attention of very devout soccer fans.

Ronaldo is the player on the right with the bizarre highlighted hair and shaved sides. Yes, that's right, today we have two bad haircuts. While at least Neymar has the scapegoat of being you for his ridiculous hair, Ronaldo has been around for years and has no excuse for not knowing any better. The only thing his hair even seems comparable is a miscolored/misshapen artichoke.

Diego Forlan: The tale of two men

For all of Campbell's criticism of society's impact on our own self image, sometimes it can be beneficial. Such a case can be found within the life of Atletico Madrid's Diego Forlan. As usual I will pick which haircut is victorious and the reasons as to why, but in all honesty it's pretty self-explanatory.

I know I typicality show the losing haircut first, but I just wanted to show that Forlan typically has some of the best flow in all of La Liga. As a native of Uruguay it can be assumed that his blonde locks are more surprising in his homeland than the hair experimenting ground that is professional soccer. Plus you know he has to be a cool guy with the classic contemplative pose.

It goes without saying that this is the more disappointing version of Forlan's hair. Typically you'd only see a soccer player rocking such long braids in a high school women's game. However, this is what Forlan brought to the table when he played for Manchester United. Seeing as he only sported this look for one game, it's safe to say that the heavy scrutiny of society was for his own good this time. Perhaps the braids were one of the reasons Man U was ok with the prospect of parting ways with one of their most promising youngsters at the time.

The best and worst of powerhouse ponytails: Ibrahimovic vs. Drogba

Following the theme of the last post, I will pick the best and worst of a certain hairstyle. The chosen hairstyle this time will be ponytails. While choosing the best ponytail is like choosing between drowning and burning, I'll do my best. However terrible the idea of a man having a ponytail is, there at least can be one good thing can be said. When analyzing from the campbell point-of-view, neither of the following players can be said to have been heavily influenced by society's standards.

First up is the loser of our showdown, Chelsea's Dider Drogba. While the functionality of his hair can not be argued, his headers are some of the most lethal in the English Premier League, the style is in obvious question. It's a bit of a halfhearted effort in terms of execution, when compare to our victor you can see where the Ivory Coast striker is lacking. One point, though, is that when you make the risky decision of rocking a ponytail you probably should take the receding hairline into account.

Above is the man who I have decided to be the lesser of two evils. That man is AC Milan's Swedish forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Ibras' ponytail is done a little more justice by the fact it isn't always utilized. When ponytail-less, Ibra has arguably some of the best flow in European soccer. While the length of his hair makes the ponytail a little more serviceable, he essentially won this matchup based on the fact I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The best and the worst of the balding legends: Rooney vs Iniesta

Not just in the world of soccer, but in the world as a whole, there is a bit of a ceiling on how good balding can look. With that being said, there is a significant difference between aging gracefully and gripping on to your days of youth until your knuckles turn white. Today we will discuss two soccer giants who have been dealing with one of nature's cruelest jokes, hair loss. One chose to go the honorable route by displaying his baldness, the other went as far as surgery to regain his hair.

Picture above we have one of the most recognizable names in professional soccer, Manchester United's Wayne Rooney. Rooney had supposedly successful hair transplant surgery when he was essentially completely bald at the ripe old age of 25. Rooney most certainly is a victim of the existence Campbell describes. With the increased interactions as a result of technology, people's opinions of themselves are developed from what the outside world tells them. As the star player of the most recognizable soccer team in Europe, Rooney undoubtedly heard the snickering of every common man on the continent. Certainly that can be the only explanation for such an insult to nature.

Here is a man that Rooney can look up to. Here, we have Barcelona's Andres Iniesta. Iniesta does what you have to do when facing a receding hairline as a youngster, keep the hair short and don't let the media make you do something rash. And certainly the receding hair line doesn't affect his play as he has been nominated for player of the year a couple of time.

For Josh: Valbuena and Kaka

To the left, on behalf of Joshua Trachtenberg, I present Valbuena. On the right, known as one of the world's best footballers, I present Kaka. According to Putnam, for a long time the media controlled the public sphere. For a large portion of the time that remains true in the world of sports. But until the advent of technology the amount of coverage the media could produce was limited. Now, when a player changes his hairstyle it is plastered over the internet, for better or worse. Thankfully for this week's contestants there is no need to worry for neither possesses a very conspicuous haircut.

While Valbuena's hair may seem rather ordinary, it may have been more appropriate for the late 1990's. The similarities between Valbuena's and Freddie Prinze Jr's hair from the 1999 classic She's All That. The coincidence is only furthered by the fact Freddie went on to be Fred in a Scooby Doo movie. How is that coincidental? because the colors of Valbuena's jersey matches the colors of Fred's singular outfit perfectly. Valbuena should value the impact the media has on his public image as much as Kaka does.

This post's winner is Kaka. He utilizes the high level of scrutiny from the media to his advantage. He sticks out, by not sticking out. You know the media agrees you have a sweet classic haircut when your ad depicts you as soccer's James Bond. By choosing a simple haircut compared to many of his counterparts, Kaka is seen as a good guy in the public image

Mario Balotelli and Gerard Pique

For this post we will be analyzing the haircuts of Manchester City forward Mario Balotelli and Barcelona defender Gerard Pique. Super Mario is the man above this writing with the blonde mohawk-type thing. Gerard Pique is the man below. While I don't think it's necessary to point out the obvious winner and loser in this matchup, that's what I am about to do.

First we will choose the obvious loser, that would be Mario Balotelli. I do not think that much more needs to be said other than the fact that Balotelli instantly shaved this mohawk instantly after losing in an embarrassing loss. He obviously saw it as embarrassing enough that he had to get rid of out of fear of being ridiculed.

Why is Shakira pictured above? I'll tell you why, it's because that's who our winner is dating. I personally don't think Shakira would be dating anyone who didn't have respectable hair. The fact he is dating probably one of the most attractive women music attests to the fact he's got a pretty sweet hair and beard combo going.

Alex Song and Marouane Chamakh

In this weeks entry we will dissect the haircuts of two Arsenal mainstays; they are both unique to say the least. To the right we have Marouane Chamakh of Morocco; and underneath this writing is Alex Song of Cameroon. Both of these players have utilized an important aspect of blogging in their selection of haircuts, the creation of self identity. What type of identity they have created for themselves will be told in the following paragraphs.



Mr. Chamakh came to Arsenal as a promising young forward and has since fallen to often riding the bench. It was hard to picture him as an electric scoring threat when he seems to be balding in his ripe old 20's. Rather than going with the seemingly honorable way out and getting a simple buzz cut; he went for a look that makes him seem like a 50-something-year-old former cast member of the Jersey Shore. The identity he has seemed to create for himself is one of self-unawareness. The following picture goes to show that he should be a perfect candidate for the Moroccan Shore.



After reading Chamakh's paragraph I'm sure it is rather obvious the winner of this post's showdown is none other than Alex Song. Rather than go the route of trying to become too flashy when leaving his native Cameroon to play in England; Song seemingly wanted to pay homage to his heritage and rock the long natural hair. His hair has long been a thing worthy of fandom amongst already devout Arsenal fans. This is completely evident when looking at a shirt sold on a popular Arsenal blog site. Anytime someone's hair is compared to an art masterpiece I believe it's safe to say they must be doing something right.

Tom Cleverly and Carles Puyol

Today, The Beautiful Mane would like to welcome Tom Cleverly and Carles Puyol to our exclusive club. However, only one of these skilled soccer players would be happy to be involved with this blog. That is because I will now start the typical formula for TBM and will offer up two players; one to be praised and one to be shamed. Cleverly is the disgruntled looking fellow on the top, while Puyol is the much more inviting and friendly looking guy on the bottom.

First I will have to pop the balloon of suspense and point out the obvious fact that Mr. Cleverly is this post's loser. While his footballing skills are world class, it's safe to say that the skill set of his barber isn't on the same level. In his photo Cleverly looks more like a pranked american teenager than a star player in the English Premier League. No one can tell me that Mr. Cleverly does not look like he could be a certain Canadian-born pop star's older brother who got attacked with a buzzer after being the first to fall asleep at a sleepover. That Canadian-born pop star may or may not be the following person:

Now to praise Puyol for the wonderful shaggy mop that is his hair. This star defender for both the Spanish  National Team and Barcelona has been a defensive stalwart for years. His legendary flow is as much of a staple for his two teams as his defensive prowess. He resembles a modern day AC Slater from the legendary 1980's/1990's show Saved by the Bell. Though Puyol has the edge in that battle, as he wasn't a victim of the late 20th century mullet epidemic. Slater's mane was before his time, if not for succumbing to the mullet, he may have lived on through his shag.

Bacary Sagna

I figured for the first post I might as well address the player who is my background. Bacary Sagna is a wing defender for Arsenal in the English Premier League and the French National Team. When it comes to hair, Sagna is Michelangelo and his hair is the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Despite his amazing decision-making on unique haircuts, even he is not without his faults.

We will address the two hairstyles he uses in my background photo. First we will address the intense haircut on the right side of the photo. Not only is his haircut a standout, he also has to be given points for degree of difficulty. Not only must it be massively time consuming to dye and braid his hair, he has to deal with it flying all over the place. Most players with straight hair just as long usually sport a headband of sorts, but Sagna is just letting his pseudo-dreads/braids do their on thing.

Now to address the disservice he did to himself in the picture to the left side of the photo. For someone who's known for wild and crazy hair, his bizarre side-shaved faux hawk looks more fitting for a bench player for some lower tier Spanish league team who's more focused on the clubs after the game. If it were not for his world-class talent, this self-imposed embarrassment would almost seem unforgivable; luckily for Sagna, the fans of the Gunners care a tad more about their standing on the table than the death of Sagna's "golden locks"